Parenting for the future
I’m sitting in a lounge room surrounded by boxes. I had plans for packing some more but decided I’m sick of writing Modern Mama posts in my head and never posting them. The irony is that for the last six months I’ve been contracting and so I had (theoretically) more time to blog. Now, we’re moving to Sydney because I got a job with Greenpeace.
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The good news is that Harper’s hearing test went swimmingly. Although the line on the machine was still flat (no pressure in the system means no pressure peak to test), she turned her head to see the puppet at even some of the quietest sounds. She also said a bunch of words, showed that she knew where the doors were and bits of her body and so on and so forth. The audiologist was thrilled. And kept saying “good girl”. Which brings us to *that* post… about unconditional parenting and the enervating jabbering of “good job” that is a constant hum in the background of modern childhood. Read more…
It’s funny to look back and read that last post from only four months ago… I kept waiting for that next moment when we would hear sentences and it didn’t happen and it didn’t happen. At the back of my mind, I could hear my mother saying “but you spoke in full sentences at 14 months”. Another worry was that my daughter’s words were slightly off — she said “sha” for “shoe” and “ba” for “boo”, but when she said “mama” or “uh-oh” it was clear as a bell. What was going on? Read more…
Every single day, someone mistakes my daughter for a boy. Why? In part, because “boy” is the default category. In part, because she isn’t dressed in pink, doesn’t have pierced ears and is not sporting one of those lacy bands around her forehead (ugh). It happened again this week, at the pool, because she was wearing a lime green swimsuit that (shock, horror) only covered her bottom. All the other girls were in pink, either one-pieces or two-piece bikinis (for 8-month-old babies!!). It’s just part of a bigger story about gender, stereotypes, Caster Semenya and why she matters, girls’ toys and boys’ toys, and why it’s a big, big mess waiting to happen. Read more…
Apparently, up to a third of Australians think women shouldn’t breastfeed in public. I think what’s more worrying about that study is how many people think babies should be weaned at six months and that it’s the 18–24 year olds who are the most ignorant. I have a sneaking suspicion that my daughter is growing up in a more conservative, gendered world than I did, and it scares me. Read more…
Today was my first day of paid work in about seven months. My last day was December 19, conveniently just before the holiday break, so I cheated and had five weeks off before the birth rather than come back for two days in January only to leave again. My baby was six months old about two weeks ago. The timing is pretty perfect actually: the final government payment (“baby bonus”, as it’s called) went into our bank account last week. We need something to replace it as my partner is going to be the stay-at-home Dad, and I’m to be the income earner. Read more…
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